Journal #4
Chapter 10-12
Perspective of Ms.Dubose

Dear Diary,
Did you hear, Atticus Finch is defending Tom Robinson in a court of law. Bob and Mayella Ewell have accused Robinson of rape. In my opinion, it is a sin to defend a colored mans word, and value it hieghter than white mans word. What Atticus Finch is doing is a complete and utter sin. Considering that I have few contemporaries in this town, it is hard to find someone to relate things to. But on this, it is a non contradictory matter that defending a black man over a white, is a sin, ‘nuff said. He is defending trash, and hence he is trash. He knows better too, and I think that’s the worst part of it all.
In addition to being a Nigger Lover, he lets his children run rampage through the town. Every day I see his kin walk by my house, they try to greet me sincerely, but it is awfully hard to be sincere through gritted teeth. Those children forget what manners are, that’s how bad they act. I’ve stopped countin’ how many times they’ve been rude to me. I don’t se why either, I’m just as peachy as anyone else. They hardly remain inconspicuous. They’re always walking up and down the street, playing their childish games. They appear inaudible when I shout remarks at ‘em, but I know they hear me. They just don’t pay attention when I make remarks about them, I thinks it be the rudest thing anyone’s ever done to me. They should at least hear what I have to say before they ignore me. In my opinion, Atticus Finch is putting his children and everyone else in peril each time he lets them go outside.
One afternoon, I see Jessie coming in to my room with a pile broken camellia buds in her hands. I was livid with anger. I then realized who did it. Jeremy Atticus Finch. That young delinquent wouldn’t of thought twice about doing destroying my precious snow on the mountain. I called Atticus while he was at his office. I informed him of the situation and he said not to jump to conclusions, and he would ask Jem about my camellias and how they had been vandalized when he returned home.
Surely enough I was correct. That little runt demolished my precious snow on the mountain. I was sure to get my revenge. They deal was he would replant my camellia’s, and for the next month, visit me at my house, and read out loud so I could hear. Each session we‘d have, I had secretly set my alarm clock back a few minutes longer, which forced him to read to me more. That little dirty sister of his would come along as well. I would catch Jeremy coming to a word he didn’t know, and when he‘d try to skip it, I made him spell it out and I’d tell him what it meant. I was less able to do this as I got further into my morphine fits. My doctor prescribed to me morphine, years ago, to use as a pain killer. I got addicted to it. As one of my last wills I wanted to wean off my morphine addition. Weaning off morphine was definitely the most painful experience of my life. I’m not going to lie, life was easier with the morphine, but without it I feel like a better, stronger person who didn’t take the easy way out.
I made Jeremy read to me for a week more than a month, just because I was enjoying it. It was calming to hear a story be read to you to take your mind off the pain. I think that those two kids of Atticus’s are actually all right, despite what I had said about them. I like to think of my remarks towards them as constructive criticism, a way to help them in life. I truly believe that later on in life, they will be grateful to have had me as a neighbor.